Pages of my Becoming

Sunny Hosanna
Dec 2
4 min read

They say four pillars are the minimum needed to hold a structure strong. My Four Pillars? Amma, Tatha, Mommy and Daddy. In engineering, when one pillar fails, the entire structure becomes vulnerable. So what happens when life takes one of your pillars away? The building still stands… but it is shaken forever.

Amma had saved me when she welcomed me as one of her own in Green House. I had everything. I had finally found my home. Built on love. Built on faith. Built on discipline and purpose. Four pillars holding my entire world together.

Then COVID came.

And I lost one.

I had everything… And suddenly, Amma was gone.

Amma Maria, my grandmother.

She had a heart big enough to receive me, raise me, and fill me with love and a sense of purpose. She taught me to pray and to believe that my life had meaning. She protected me, supported me. She did this for all of us children in Green House. It broke me. It felt like I was lost all over again. It has been 5 years since Amma left this world.

Three pillars remained.

Did you know there is a structure based on three pillars? It is known for its balance, stability, and ability to stand firm even on uneven ground. This type of structure doesn’t collapse easily—it adjusts. It adapts. And I realised… that was me. A restructured building. Three pillars like a tripod, learning how to stand strong again. So to my three remaining pillars, I speak directly.

To my Mummy.

When we lost Amma, you took the reins. You filled the space that was missing. You stepped into the gap with love, patience, guidence, encouragement and strength. That is who my mummy is to me. She always says:

“You will do it, beta.”

I thank God for giving me you as a mother. Mummy, thank you for everything. You are a blessing in my life.

I love you.

To my Tatha. (my grandfather).

My life became a tripod after loss…I like to think the tripod is one of those fancy modern fully technology-equipped ones. Because then Tatha would be the pillar with the built-in compass, the shock absorber, and the music system all in one. The one that keeps things steady when the ground is uneven. The one that reminds you which way is north. And the one that fills the silence with worship and prayer. Because of him, I learned to draw. Because of him, I am the worshipper I am. Without even realising it, I was following his footsteps. He is a Man of God who always reminds me:

“It doesn’t matter what the world thinks about you.

Keep your eyes on God in good times and in bad.” That is something I carry with me every single day.

And then there is Daddy (Appa)

My greatest inspiration for leading worship. I always wanted to play like him. I always wanted to sing like him. Since I was a kid, I dreamed of performing the song “Azadi.” After practising for many days, I finally gathered the courage to post a video on my WhatsApp Status on February 21 of myself playing and singing. When he saw it, he said:

“God bless you, beta. Keep going.”

Those simple words. They encouraged me. They made me believe in myself. They filled me with confidence. I finally played in front of him. And it was good. Me… playing guitar. Unreal. I thank God for you, Daddy. We will keep blessing others as we worship together, leading hearts to the lord through music.

A Thank You picture card for our christmas gifts. So many of us!

He gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

Amma, Mummy, Tatha, and Daddy

These are the pillars that hold my life. Once, I stood on four strong pillars. Then life reshaped me.

God is a Master Builder.

He restored. And today, I stand again—not weaker, but stronger. Ready to adapt to uneven terrain. He gifted me a family who shaped me with love, prayers, and encouragement. I thank each one of you for the memories, for the confidence, for the faith, and for the happiness you planted in my heart. I carry you with me in everything I do.

I love you all.

Leading prayer at Potters Clay Boys Hostal Ministry in Nagaland.

If you’ve lost more than one pillar and only have two,

know this: A bridge stands on two sides. know that balance is still possible.

If you only have one,

Remember this: God can turn a single pillar into a monument. A single cross can be turned into the greatest monument of love, sacrifice, and redemption the world has ever known.

And if you feel like you are completely alone… God does some of His best work in empty spaces. You are never walking without the Master Builder. Our shadow is proof that Light is with you.

Be intrepid.